Humble Beginnings…
Hey there 🙂

Today I wanted to give you my whole backstory story.

The unedited version.

The truth about where I started and where I am now. Dun dun dun…

I know. It feels like it’s really overwhelming to tell the story. Every time I take my mind back to the place that I was before losing weight, before losing the 65 pounds, it terrifies me.

It terrifies me that I’ll end up being back there if I put too much thought in to it. I guess it’s good to look back on things of where you were compared to where you are now…

Then you can really see how much you have overcome in the process….

For me, I used to be 180 pounds. I’m only 5 foot 2. I used to just be really sad. My dad passed away when I was 16. We had a lot of loss in our family. I think that I just totally took that out on food….

I used to eat because I was sad. I used to eat because I was mad. I used to eat because I just was bored. That food really became my outlet and it became an addiction that I had….

I would sit, I remember it like it was yesterday. I would sit on the couch and eat an entire tub of cookie dough. The Tollhouse cookie dough tub. I would eat a whole tub of it. I would melt an entire bad of white chocolate chips and eat an entire bag of pretzels sitting there dipping it in white chocolate.

I would go through bags of Cheetos and Doritos and cereal in one setting. I would eat a whole pizza by myself. I pride myself on telling everyone that I could eat an entire crave case. 30 White Castles in one sitting. That was my life. Food….

My day revolved around food. It’s all I would think about. It’s always like oh when is the next time I’m going to eat something. I would go up to McDonalds and order 4 double cheeseburgers, a large fry and a large coke. McDonalds has the best fountain coke. We all know that!…

I just remember afterwards being so sad. Food would life me up in that minute of like “oh my gosh, this is so good”. I would be so sad afterwards….

It never really filled that hole that I had and those feelings that I was trying to suppress. One day I woke up. I saw a picture of someone who was way worse off than I was. I saw their after pictures. Their transformation….

I was like “wow”. If this person can do this, and they’re about 50 pounds heavier than I am right now then why can’t I do this? Why can’t I have the same type of transformation? I absolutely can, but I have to start somewhere. I have to make a change. I have to decide right now that this is really what I want…

I was so fed up. I was fed up with being lazy. I was fed up with just sitting on the couch and watching TV all the time. I was fed up with eating and eating and eating all the time. I was fed up with feeling like I didn’t love myself. I was fed up with other people looking and me and me not feeling confident in my skin…

I’m someone who has a bubbly personality and after gaining all this weight, I wasn’t like that anymore. I was hiding behind clothes and hiding behind food. Afraid of what people would see and think of me…

I had been an athlete my entire life. Getting myself to this point was just devastating. It was almost where I thought I was too far gone that I could ever get back to a healthy weight. It was pretty much like well I can’t really do anything about it and I’m never going to get over this addiction so why even try? That day I woke up and I just decided that I was going to have a different mentality. I decided that I wasn’t going to live like that anymore. I decided that I wasn’t going to be a victim anymore….

I was tired of being a victim of my circumstances and saying well this happened to me so I have an excuse of why I get to eat all these things and act like this and be sad. That’s not who I am. I made that decision at that moment. I was like you know what, I’m going to make the decision, but I have to take action right now.

I will remember that day for the rest of my life… going to the gym that day…

I guess the reason I’m telling you all of this is in hopes that TODAY will be that day for you…

And if you need some Help, TAP HERE if you would like that help from me. 🙂

With LOVE always,

Kaelin Tuell Poulin