Before I lost 65 lbs, I was uncomfortable with myself all the time. I was uncomfortable in every outfit that I put on. I was uncomfortable out of clothes. I was uncomfortable in bathing suits. I was even uncomfortable wearing my winter jacket!
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I Always Felt Like People Could Just See Right Through Me…
And because I gained so much weight so fast, I just felt exposed all the time. I literally felt like I was walking around naked. I don’t know if you have felt the same way, but I did, and it was terrible. I was miserable feeling like that all the time.
I would sit around a dinner table, with all my friends, and I wouldn’t even talk. It was like I was in hiding. It’s like I was trying to go unnoticed because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. It felt like they had X-ray vision, like seeing into me all the time. It just made me so uncomfortable.
What I realized later, is that it wasn’t them making me uncomfortable, it was me being uncomfortable with myself! It was me being uncomfortable with all the weight that I had gained. It was me being uncomfortable with my food addiction. It was me feeling guilty all the time.
When people looked at me, or when people talk to me, I felt like they were seeing that guilt. I felt like they were making me feel guilty. I felt like they were trying to expose my bad eating habits, or trying to expose the way that I looked. But, it wasn’t them at all, it was me.
It Wasn’t Until I Started To Be More Comfortable In My Body, That My Body Actually Started Losing Weight.
I know that doesn’t make any sense. Like: “What do you mean? You’re supposed to lose weight and then feel comfortable in your body.” But no, it’s actually the exact opposite.
I started telling myself: “You’re amazing. You’re beautiful. You look great. You’re on your way. You’re losing the weight. You can do this. You’re going to lose it all. You’ve got this.” It wasn’t until I started saying all those things and speaking those things to myself that I actually started doing it, and that it started happening.
Then it was like I felt more proud to be in my skin. It was like, “Yeah, this is just the shell I’m in right now, but I’m working on it.” It just changed my mentality. It’s like I started gaining confidence, even though I was overweight. Even though I was still 65 pounds overweight, I started gaining confidence in myself.
It’s not when you get to the goal weight that you have confidence. If you don’t love yourself every step of the way, and you don’t learn every step of the way, losing the weight isn’t going to be enough. You’re still going to have that poor relationship with yourself, and you’re still going to have that uncomfortable feeling the whole time. You have to learn to do it along the way.
Here’s a couple things that I did:
Number One, I Stopped Saying Crappy Things About Myself.
If someone would talk to your little sister, or your daughter, or your mom, the way you’ve been talking to yourself, you wouldn’t be okay with it, would you? You’d be like: “Excuse me, you don’t talk to her that way.” right? But why do we talk to ourselves that way?
The Second Thing I Did, Was I Tried To Replace It With Something Else.
I went to my bathroom mirror and I wrote: “I am confident. I love myself. I’m amazing. I can do this. I’ve already lost the 65 pounds.” I wrote it present tense. Even though I didn’t feel that way about myself then, every day when I looked in the mirror there it was.
Every day, right before I made eye contact with myself in the mirror, I would think: “Uh, you’re so gross. Look what you’ve done to yourself.” But, before the thought could manifest into a bad feeling, I was able to read the list I had wrote on my mirror with a dry erase marker. I wrote those affirmations to myself, and I was able to read them to myself, and it gave me a completely different relationship with myself.
I know so many women try to go through the process thinking: “When I get to lose the weight, then I’ll love myself. When I get to the weight, then I’ll have confidence. When I get to the weight, then it will all be different.”
But you have to start developing it along the way, because once you get there, nothing inside will have changed. Your relationship will not have changed with yourself. It’s really important that you start now, that you write those affirmations to yourself, that you start to push out those negative thoughts, and start to pour good things about you into your mind. I think you’re awesome, you just gotta tell yourself you’re awesome, right?
I want you to start somewhere, because I know how hard it was for me. I know how difficult it was trying to figure out: “How do I lose the weight? What’s my actual goals?” Remember, I’ve already been in your shoes. I’ve already lost 65 pounds. I’ve kept it off for seven years. Today I want to give you FREE access to the LadyBoss Kickstart.
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With LOVE, always