… Got ya! That was a trick question. We speak to ourselves more than we speak to anyone else. Have you ever considered that?
How do you speak to yourself? Would your best girlfriend punch someone who spoke to you the way that you speak to yourself? Hmm.
In the words of Brené Brown, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
If you’re looking to feel better, if you’re looking to find more happiness, begin with the narrator of your own life story. Science shows that positive self-talk has many benefits.
The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk
According to Mayo Clinic, the following are benefits of maintaining positive outlooks in regards to yourself and to your life:
- Longer life
- Resistance against depression
- Less distress
- Lower instances of the common cold
- Better mental and physical well-being
- Better heart health
- Better coping skills through life’s stressors and challenges
Positive Self-Talk Tips
Are you wondering how to stay positive? Just as with building any habit, learning how to think positive will take effort and time. But positive self-talk is achievable for all of us.
RECOGNIZE YOUR SELF-TALK HABITS
First, you’re unlikely to change habits that you’re not even aware that you have. Discover more about your own self-talk with the tips below.
Tip 1: Identify negative though patters
Our internal narrative isn’t always accurate or rational. Do you recognize any of these common thinking errors in your self-talk?
– Filtering. You discard the positives and give hyper-focus to the negatives.
– Personalizing. You blame yourself for things outside of your control.
– Catastrophizing. You assume the worst and doubt the best.
– Polarizing. You think in black or white, all or nothing, right or wrong.
Tip 2: Check yourself
Once you’ve identified some of your common thinking errors, monitor your thoughts throughout the day. Become more aware of your thought patterns, and watch for triggering people, places, circumstances, and events.
Tip 3: Put your thoughts on trial
Weigh your negative thoughts against evidence. Honestly reason with yourself, and you’ll come to know that you’re a beautiful woman with many strengths simply doing the best you can each day.
Develop the following three skills to increase the positivity of your thoughts. Your self-talk reflects the state of your mind.
Tip 4: Practice gratitude
Recognize the positives in your life with intention and determination. Stay focused on the people, places, and things that you’re thankful for.
Tip 5: Practice mindfulness
Accept that negative thoughts may occur and that they’re normal, but allow them to pass by without rumination. Negative self-talk often stems from a bad habit of dwelling on past mistakes or fretting over future mistakes waiting to happen.
Tip 6: Practice hope
Believe in yourself. Believe in your capacity for success. Deliberately acknowledge each micro success that you have. Acknowledging each baby step forward will build the strength of your hope.
LOOK OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF
Tip 7: Reframe isolating thoughts
Girlfriend, we’re all making mistakes all of the time. We’re all part of the imperfect human club. Look at yourself as part of this flawed family instead of as an isolated broken being.
Tip 8: Speak kindly of others
Speak kindly of others. Practice compassion and patience with them. Gain an aptitude for empathy. Working on these skills in regard to others will help you to develop these skills in how you speak to yourself.
Tip 9: Get a mentor
As a LadyBoss® Personal Results Coach, I not only help women lose weight, I help women learn how to think positive in order to enable transformation. As a coach, I’ve seen self-fulfilling prophecies play out time and time again. The quality of your self-talk will manifest itself in your behaviors. Seek out the help of a mentor or a coach if you’re having trouble changing your negative narrative.
Tip 10: Practice positive self-talk
Positive self-talk will take consistent effort and practice, especially if you’ve been mired in negative thought patterns for decades. You build positive outlooks and good self-talk habits just as you build muscles: by pushing against resistance.
Remember that you speak to yourself more than you speak to anyone else. Keep your self-talk positive and uplifting by recognizing your self-talk habits, practicing positivity, and looking outside of yourself.